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70 million stimulus checks delayed so Trump can individually sign each one



Nashville, TN - According to sources, nearly 70 million paper stimulus checks will be delayed so President Trump can individually sign each one.


The good news for recipients is that they will receive a handwritten note from the President of The United States. The bad news is that many may have to wait until May 2028 to receive their funds.


The response to the delay has been mixed and mostly fallen along partisan lines. One die-hard Republican told journalists, "I'd wait 50 years to have a personal note from President Trump." A die-hard Democrat responded, "I'd rather starve."


One of the lucky first recipients of the personalized check was Debbie Donnelly of Nashville, who received the note, "Hi Debbie, Remember November!" Donnelly says she's not sure what she's supposed to remember about November but appreciates the personal touch by the guy who hosts The Apprentice.


Sources say Trump is hoping to approve another round of stimulus checks in the coming weeks to be distributed the last week in October.



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