Washington, D.C. - According to reports, all attendees at Trump's White House speech this afternoon will receive a cool, free swag bag full of Regeneron and Remdesivir.
"President Trump just wanted to say thank you to his supporters at this historic event with a fitting souvenir gift bag," said a White House spokesperson in quarantine. "It was all his idea."
Sources say Trump stuffed all the bags himself and will be personally dropping them from the balcony to attendees below directly following his speech.
The spokesperson also said that Trump is looking forward to his first campaign rally since contracting COVID-19 on Monday in Florida.
"The President is very much looking forward to getting out there and spreading his positivity."
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