Nashville, TN - Jimmy Thompson, better known as Creepy Uncle Jimmy in inner circles, sent a cardboard cutout to his family on Thursday when he was unable to show up uninvited for Thanksgiving.
The cutout came with a note reading, "Hey, brother. Sorry, I couldn't be there in person this year, but who knows what you people have. Kiss Janine a real good one on the lips for me and tell her I'll see her soon."
Thompson's letter went on to instruct his brother where to place his stand-in at the dinner table.
"Please put me as close to Janine as possible, but away from that baby. You know how I feel about slobbery kids."
The festive letter ended with a request to borrow money and detailed instructions on how to store the cutout for Christmas, just in case.
Reports suggest the cardboard likeness is currently stationed in the garage near a recycling bin, waiting for placement for dinner.
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