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Job applicant bedazzles resume to draw attention away from complete lack of essential skills

Updated: Dec 20, 2018

NASHVILLE, TN Bailey Taylor, 26, an under-worked, stay-at-home daughter, bedazzled her resume in a strategic attempt to draw attention away from her complete lack of work experience. Taylor said, “This could be like my first job thingy, so I wanted to show them my talents. It, you know, gives me like an edge over all those other stupid people with their stupid work histories.”

The Inquisitor spoke to Kim Guthries, the hiring manager at the medical firm where Taylor applied. She said, “Ah Ms. Bailey! Yes! When we saw her resume, we were blown away by her talent. So refreshing. Yes, the work experience section was blank and she has no apparent qualifications, but what she does have is passion. And she has it in spades. That gives her an edge over all the other stupid candidates in my opinion. We can teach you how to calibrate complicated and sensitive medical equipment, but we can’t teach you passion. I’m planning to offer her the position next week, but please don’t print that.”

Bailey was so excited when The Inquisitor called to tell her the news. No word yet when she will start.

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