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Local monster offended after vandal associates him with Nathan Bedford Forrest

Brentwood, TN - Local monster Bob Ogreman expressed outrage on Wednesday after a vandal spray-painted "monster" on a statue of Nathan Bedford Forrest near Nashville.

"Of course, I'm offended," said Ogreman. "How would you like to be associated with that beast?"

Ogreman went on to share his 23andMe DNA profile that clearly shows he has no genetic connection to Nathan Bedford Forrest whatsoever.

Police have few leads in the case, but Ogreman says he caught a scent that he hopes will lead him to the offender.

"I'm going to track him down, but he better hope I don't find him," said Ogreman. "It may get ugly."

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