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Mall security deploys elite undercover unit ahead of busy Spider-Man opening

Nashville, TN - Mall-based cinemas across the nation are expecting record crowds this weekend as Spider-Man: No Way Home hits theaters.

In an effort to protect moviegoers, mall security teams across the country are deploying their elite undercover units.

A local mall security expert told reporters, "Our covert officers are highly-trained to blend seamlessly with their surroundings. Moviegoers won't notice them, but we hope they take comfort in knowing our invisible task force is there keeping them safe."

Spider-Man: No Way Home opens today.

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The Inquisitor Nashville is a work of satire. We aim to promote positive mental health through the power of laughter. If you or someone you know is experiencing a mental health emergency, please call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255.


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