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Man starting to think 'No Time to Diet' movie downloaded free online not real Bond film

Nashville, TN - A local man told reporters on Friday that he is starting to think the "No Time To Diet" movie he downloaded for free online is not a real James Bond film.

"I got like two-thirds through it and realized the whole movie is just Bond going around making excuses for why he can't lose weight. I'm starting to think this isn't the real new 007 movie," said Bill Evans.

According to the description posted on the website:

Craig Daniel returns as J. Bond, the world's most daring secret agent. In this final installment, Bond must infiltrate a shadow government operating from a secret lair deep beneath a London Planet Fitness. Only Bond can save the world, but first, he must take down the substantial weight he gained during the 2020 lockdowns. Download now for FREE!

In a review posted on Rotten Tomatoes, Evans gave the film 2 out of 5 stars.

"The acting is bad. The plot is non-existent. The budget was probably 50 bucks. BUT... I'm giving it two stars because I can relate to Bond's weight struggle. I gained a few pounds myself in 2020. I'm still not sure this is an actual James Bond film."

"No Time to Diet" currently has a 2% rating on the TOMATOMETER.

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Good Mental Health is No Joke

The Inquisitor Nashville is a work of satire. We aim to promote positive mental health through the power of laughter. If you or someone you know is experiencing a mental health emergency, please call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255.


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