Slovenia - According to reports, a beloved wooden sculpture of first lady Melania Trump was set on fire on July 4 near her hometown in Slovenia. Now, the revered artist of the prized creation has vowed to restore the masterpiece.
Brad Downey, a German-based American artist, wrote via email, "I make this solemn vow to you, first lady Melania. I will defend your honor and restore your tribute to its original, unbridled glory."
Documents show Melania responded, "Hey Brad. I'm good. Seriously. You don't need to."
Downey responded, "But I must. It is my duty. I swear before God that I will devote my life to erasing any trace of malice, any shred of disrespect brought by this cowardly act. Rest assured, my lady. I will avenge you if it takes me until my dying breath. I shall avenge you."
Melania responded, "k."
Inquisitor Nashville reached out to Downey for comment, but he was reportedly chopping down a tree to be used in the restoration. First lady Trump also ignored our calls.
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