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NASA begins mission to redirect asteroid away from U.S., towards New Jersey


Houston, TX - According to reports, NASA has begun a complex mission to redirect a rogue asteroid away from the U.S. and towards New Jersey.


Asteroid expert John Loggins told reporters, "With today's technology, we can only redirect these planetoids by a series of degrees. The asteroid in question is on a collision course with the midwest, so New Jersey is our best option."


But the decision isn't final. New Jersey State activists are demanding that NASA let Americans decide their preferred place of impact.


An initial poll showed New Jersey ranked first, followed closely by Cleveland, Ohio. Other suggested impact locations included:

  • California (ranked #1 by Republicans)

  • Texas (ranked #1 by Democrats)

  • Alabama (ranked #1 by Tennessee Vols Fans)

  • Tennessee (ranked #1 by Alabama Crimson Tide Fans)

  • Florida, Arkansas, and Kentucky were also in the top 10

The positive news is the asteroid is decades away, relatively small, and would not cause much damage to New Jersey if it becomes the definitive location.



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