Nashville, TN - As winter weather arrives in Nashville this week, countless locals have expressed concern that the colder temperatures would lead to fewer scooter riders to block traffic over the coming months. Nashville quickly put those fears to rest today by unveiling a new heated scooter that will allow operators to comfortably interrupt the flow of traffic at any temperature, even as low as -20 degrees.
A city spokesperson told reporters, "We assure you that these new scooters will allow riders to pull out into traffic, weave in and out of pedestrians, and take our freeways from a cozy, climate-controlled environment. There is no reason for concern."
"Thank God," said one downtown commuter. "I'm not sure I would know how to drive anymore without the constant fear of hitting someone."
Another downtown resident said she felt so relieved by the announcement because she feels like the scooters are now part of the Nashville culture and Nashville would not be Nashville without injured tourists lying around sidewalks.
The only remaining question is whether the new heated scooter coverings will limit the peripheral view of riders, leading to more accidents. A representative for the scooter company eased the concerns by saying, "Good point. Let's see what happens."
Heated scooters are available now in a variety of colors and cost an additional two dollars.