Nashville, TN - In a recent office poll, Bill from Accounting was voted most likely to get the Coronavirus. The unanimous vote was conducted by twelve department heads during an early morning safety briefing on Monday.
"Bill is definitely the favorite," one manager told reporters under conditions of anonymity. When pressed for further explanation, the manager said, "Let's just say the CDC is recommending people don't touch their faces and Bill has some habits very conducive to contracting the virus."
Another manager said, "No doubt. Bill will be first." She added, "And do yourself a favor, don't shake his hand if you meet him."
Management is not the only group of employees to name Bill as the front runner for the virus. According to a discreet office betting pool, Bill (a.k.a. the picker) is a 10-1 favorite to contract the Corona first. At the moment, there is a $1,543 jackpot for the co-worker who makes the closest guess to when and which employee gets the first case.
We asked Bill for comment but he was not familiar with the office pool. No member of our crew shook his hand when offered.
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