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Report: 30 rolls of toilet paper vanish from employee bathrooms hours before Halloween party


Nashville, TN - Security officials for local tech company, Spirotechnica, are reporting that over 30 rolls of toilet paper vanished from various employee bathrooms just hours before a scheduled company Halloween party this afternoon. It is still unclear who took the tissue and what they might do with so much toilet paper.


Head of security, Mark England, told journalists there are currently no viable witnesses and the cameras in the area were blocked by Halloween decorations. England said, "We are just beginning our investigation. I plan to hold formal interviews with the staff after I judge the costume contest later today. We've got some good ones this year."


Lead janitor, Ben Monroe reported that he had stocked the restrooms around 10 a.m. this morning and found it empty at 3:00 p.m. when he received an emergency call from John Ramey in accounting, who was stuck in a stall with no tissue.


"I've never seen anything like it," Monroe told reporters. "Fortunately for Ben, I had a reserve roll in my office, but we're going to have to ration tissue or use cafeteria napkins until we get our shipment on Friday. I hope they catch these jerks and fire them because I don't buy the cheap stuff around here."


At the time of this posting, there were still no leads in the case. On a positive note, Angie Thornton from payroll took home first place in the costume contest, dressed as The Mistress Mummy.


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