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School bully announces 7% increase in lunch money payments due to inflation

Nashville, TN - Local school bully Mikey Barrett announced a 7% increase in lunch money payments on Thursday, citing record inflation.

According to witnesses, Mikey informed fellow elementary students during recess that lunch payoffs would now be $2.65, up from $2.48 just a few days earlier.

Mikey reportedly told the playground, "Ok, nerds, I hate to do it, but my lunch rates are going up. The consumer-price index is at a 40-year high of 7.5%. And I can't keep beating everyone up for $2.48 a day. The new price is $2.65. So pay up, dorks."

While the crowd silently expressed disappointment, no student or teacher spoke up.

Mikey said he would continue to honor his teacher discount lunch rates for the time being.

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