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90% of mall Santas not feeling it this year

Nashville, TN - According to a new survey by the U.S. Department of Holidays, over 90% of mall Santas say they aren't feeling it this year. That's up nearly 3% from 2019.

"Yeah, I don't know what it is, but I'm just struggling to give a $*&# about what these kids want this year," said one veteran Santa.

He is not alone. In an Inquisitor Nashville investigation, we found nearly 80% of Santas we spoke to say they are one smelly kid away from going to work for Amazon.

"It's just not worth it," said another Santa. "We normally get milk or cookies. No one's bringing us crap this year because of the pandemic. Stupid COVID."

Malls across the country are scrambling to retain their Santa talent as the shopping season winds down. One mall is even offering unlimited free shots of whiskey if Santas agree to stay through December 24.

This is a developing story.

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Good Mental Health is No Joke

The Inquisitor Nashville is a work of satire. We aim to promote positive mental health through the power of laughter. If you or someone you know is experiencing a mental health emergency, please call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255.


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