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Breaking: New documents suggest famed groundhog has zero meteorological education


Punxsutawney, PA - A new IN investigation has uncovered documents that suggest famed groundhog Punxsutawney Phil has zero meteorological education. The revelation comes just minutes after the trusted weather-hog predicted six more weeks of winter in 2021.


"I'm so angry," said one Phil fan. "I hope it's not true. I've been following Phil since I was 5-years-old."


The Inquisitor embedded an undercover journalist into the Punxsutawney Phil care team for 10-month in 2020. Multiple documents surfaced during the investigation showing Phil has never attended any meteorological school or ever worked as a meteorologist anywhere. He has no experience.


"He's a fraud," said an anonymous insider, "I hate to disappoint people, but he has zero meteorological training or experience. He just guesses."


The report may explain why Phil is historically only 39% accurate in his forecast.


We reached out to Phil and his representative to comment on the investigation. Neither has returned our calls.


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Good Mental Health is No Joke

The Inquisitor Nashville is a work of satire. We aim to promote positive mental health through the power of laughter. If you or someone you know is experiencing a mental health emergency, please call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255.

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