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Elbow Bump named official Handshake of United States

Washington, D.C. - The U.S. Department of Greetings (DOG) announced on Wednesday that the Elbow Bump has been named the official Handshake of the United States.

"In light of current health concerns and in cooperation with the CDC, WHO, MRF, LMN, HOP, and the LBO, I'm pleased to announce that the Elbow Bump is now the official Handshake of the United States of America," said Greeting General Benjamin Thomas.

Although the traditional handshake has been the preferred greeting of our nation since its founding and dates back to the 5th-century BC, most Americans across the country are embracing the new way to say hello. "I kind of like it," said one anonymous college student.

Still, a few are holding tight to tradition and refuse to acknowledge the new proclamation.

"Nope! I won't do it. I believe in eye contact and a firm handshake." said one man from his hospital room in New Jersey.

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Good Mental Health is No Joke

The Inquisitor Nashville aims to promote positive mental health through the

power of laughter. If you or someone you know is experiencing a mental health

emergency, please encourage them to call the Tennessee Statewide Crisis Line at

1-855-CRISIS-1 (1-855-274-7471).


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