Nashville, TN - The first day of Spring, originally scheduled for March 19, has been postponed until April 29.
The shift in seasons was announced at a press conference this afternoon by the U.S. Director of Seasonal Operations. He told the crowd, "With everything else going on in the world, the last thing we want is for Americans to miss out on one of the most beloved parts of the year. We feel by pushing back the Spring until the end of April, the country can experience the full joys of the season.
The stock market rallied on the news and people across the country celebrated the decision. Still, some audience members were skeptical. One man told The Inquisitor, "Moving Spring to April seems pretty unrealistic. They really need to push it back to mid-May."
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