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Local ogre enjoying one day a year he fits right in

Nashville, TN - Local ogre Billy Shafer told reporters on Thursday that he's enjoying the one day a year he feels like he fits right in.

"I absolutely love Saint Patrick's Day. It's the one day each year that people stare at me with joy in their eyes and not terror," said Shafer.

Shafer, an accountant by day, says the ogre life is not all bad. For one, he has managed to earn a sizeable side income moonlighting as a Shrek impersonator for children's birthday parties. He has also landed several minor roles in major motion pictures.

"Last year, I got to play a goblin in The Witcher Season 2. This year, I'll be on Amazon's new Lord of the Rings series as an orc. They're just bit parts, really."

Shafer says he plans to celebrate the holiday by grabbing a drink with friends before heading home to his swamp apartment outside Nashville.

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The Inquisitor Nashville is a work of satire. We aim to promote positive mental health through the power of laughter. If you or someone you know is experiencing a mental health emergency, please call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255.

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