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Local wife enjoying 'social distancing' from husband a little too much

Nashville, TN - Sarah Douglas first heard about "social distancing" last week while watching the evening news with her husband, Craig. She immediately asked him to move to the far end of the couch "just to be safe." Now, an anonymous source close to the situation says the local wife is enjoying the practice a little too much.

Sarah took additional precautions later that night when she dug out dining room table extensions from the basement and encouraged Craig to sit on the opposite side for "his protection." Still, Sarah took it to the next level at bedtime when she playfully insisted Craig sleep on the couch so she wouldn't give him "the cooties."

Over the next few days, the proactive health measures continued to expand as Amazon delivered a sleeping bag, air mattress, space heater, small refrigerator, and outdoor cooking equipment. A port-o-potty was also delivered to the side of the house late last week.

At the time of this publishing, Craig is self-isolated in the couple's detached garage. According to our source, Craig still sees Sarah on occasion through the living room window cuddling with her new puppy and when she takes her car from the garage to go out with friends.

Craig reportedly calls Sarah daily but it always goes to voicemail. Yesterday, Craig finally received a text message from his wife, saying, "Hey you, let's only text until this is all over, just in case they find the virus spreads through cell phone conversations."

The unnamed source says he is confident the couple will stay healthy through the pandemic but is concerned that the marriage will not survive the outbreak.

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Good Mental Health is No Joke

The Inquisitor Nashville aims to promote positive mental health through the

power of laughter. If you or someone you know is experiencing a mental health

emergency, please encourage them to call the Tennessee Statewide Crisis Line at

1-855-CRISIS-1 (1-855-274-7471).


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