New York, NY - An original Andy Warhol Marilyn Monroe painting that sold at auction for $195 million will ship with a free roll of duct tape after a mishap damaged the iconic portrait.
According to an anonymous source, Steven Wallace, a manager at the auction house, called the buyer to inform him of the incident early Sunday morning. A recording of the call was leaked this afternoon.
Steven: Yes, hi, sir. I'm calling about the painting you purchased for $195 million earlier this week.
Buyer: Which one?
Steven: Well, the Andy Warhol Marilyn Monroe, of course, sir.
Buyer: Oh yes, that one. It's for my wife. Has it shipped?
Steven: Well, that's why I'm calling, sir. There was the tiniest of mishaps when we removed it from the wall to ship and-
Buyer: Is it damaged?
Steven: Well, just a minor cosmetic blemish, really, sir. Nothing that a roll of duct tape won't fix, which we will be shipping along with the painting. At no additional charge, of course.
Buyer: Ok, so it's ok?
Steven: Uh-huh. Yeah. I think it actually adds some character to the piece, if you ask me. If you think about how broken Marilyn was; how broken we all are, it's kind of beautiful.
Buyer: Ok, good. I can't wait to give it to my wife. What was your name again?
Steven: Bill, sir. My name is Bill.
Buyer: Thanks for the call, Bill.
Steven: Of course, sir, enjoy your painting.
Wallace did not return our request for comment.
For more unbelievable stories, follow us on Facebook.
Good Mental Health is No Joke
The Inquisitor Nashville is a work of satire. We aim to promote positive mental health through the power of laughter. If you or someone you know is experiencing a mental health emergency, please call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255.