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Neighbor who steals cable now stealing AC


Nashville, TN - When Nashville native Tim Collins woke up to a warm house on Saturday morning, he thought his AC was out. After checking the thermostat and vents, he noticed the gigantic tube leading from his living room window to the neighbor's house next door.


Collins told reporters, "We've known for a while that our neighbor steals our cable. Now, we are starting to suspect that he's helping himself to our AC."


Collins continued by saying that he hasn't officially met his neighbor but has heard stories. He has also said hello a couple of times when he's found the neighbor rooting through his garage.


"He borrows things from time to time but almost always brings them back," said Collins.


Public records show the neighbor, Butch Blackheart, is a former bodybuilder who stands 6'6", 350 lbs. Court documents show he spent considerable time in prison for an incident with the former owner of Collins' house.


When asked if he planned to confront Blackheart over the AC, Collins told reporters, "Well, um, yes. Sure. Eventually. I'll probably give it a few days. You know, just to be neighborly and all. It's pretty hot out there."


Blackheart declined to comment, but was very interested to know who was complaining about the AC tubing.



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The Inquisitor Nashville is a work of satire. We aim to promote positive mental health through the power of laughter. If you or someone you know is experiencing a mental health emergency, please call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255.

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