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Scientist who claimed photo of chorizo was planet discovers real planet made of sausage

Paris, France - A French astronomer who claimed a photo of chorizo was a distant planet is back in the news this weekend after discovering a real planet made of 98% sausage.

Dr. Pierre Jimmé Dean posted his initial "telescopic" photo on Twitter on July 31, then later revealed to his followers that it was just a practical joke.

Now, Dr. Dean says he and his team have discovered an actual planet made of meat.

"You may be reluctant to believe this, but my team has just identified a planetoid made of 2% methane and 98% processed meat," wrote Dean.

The astronomer says much more research is needed to determine the exact makeup of the orb but estimates the spicy planet is a blend of salami, haggis, chorizo, and little smokies. They also hope to learn whether the meat can be harvested.

They have tentatively named the planet Proxima Centauri Kolbassa.

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The Inquisitor Nashville is a work of satire. We aim to promote positive mental health through the power of laughter. If you or someone you know is experiencing a mental health emergency, please call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255.


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