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Study finds 98% of toilet paper hoarders just buying it to decorate commodes

Nashville, TN - According to a new study, 98% of people who hoard toilet paper are not buying it for daily sanitary needs. They are using it to recreate a decorative art project going viral on social media.

Bill Humphries, a local hoarder, told journalists, "I saw this cool post where someone made their commode look like a face and I wanted to do it myself. But evidently, everyone was doing it because when I went to the store, people were buying cart-loads of tissue paper. So I filled a couple of carts myself."

A local psychologist, Dr. Carl Alexander, said he believes most are buying the toilet paper in an attempt to go viral with their own decorated commodes. Others are hoarding it to prevent competitors from going viral.

"Look, it's human nature," said Dr. Alexander. "When my 8-year-old twins and I first saw the decorated toilet photo, we immediately wanted to do our own. So we raced each other to the closet and fought over a 12-pack Mega Roll for five minutes. A few minutes later, I had finished mine and then I shared some rolls with them. This is perfectly normal behavior."

The study also found that 1% were using it to make toilet paper prom dresses. The final 1% were using it for its traditional purpose.

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Good Mental Health is No Joke

The Inquisitor Nashville aims to promote positive mental health through the

power of laughter. If you or someone you know is experiencing a mental health

emergency, please encourage them to call the Tennessee Statewide Crisis Line at

1-855-CRISIS-1 (1-855-274-7471).


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