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Tesla announces new Self-Diving Mode

Palo Alto, CA - Tesla announced on Saturday that all future vehicles would come with an advanced "Full Self-Diving" mode.

According to the report, the new automated feature will roll out across models on December 15. Current owners will be able to download a system upgrade in early January.

"Customers have been asking us for this feature for years," said a company spokesperson. "But we wanted to perfect our Autopilot first. Now, we're excited to deliver the next game-changer."

When we took to the streets of Nashville to get first impressions on the news, most people were surprised to learn this was not already a feature.

One man told our reporter, "I thought they already had this. My friend's Tesla has been sitting on the bottom of Old Hickory Lake for weeks."

Elon Musk did not respond to our requests for comment.

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The Inquisitor Nashville is a work of satire. We aim to promote positive mental health through the power of laughter. If you or someone you know is experiencing a mental health emergency, please call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255.


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