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Trump sends federal agents to crush riot at Portland Zoo

Portland, OR - President Trump sent a specialized unit of federal agents to a Portland Zoo on Sunday to crush a riot at a popular exhibit.

"I'm not going to let these domestic terrorists destroy our great city zoos," Trump tweeted. "If zoo leaders won't stop these anarchists, I will. They're animals."

Trump went on to tweet, "LAW and ORDER," a dozen times over the next thirty minutes.

According to witnesses, the agents used tear gas to disperse the crowd and restore order. No one was injured but a zoo manager was also tear-gassed while joining the protesters.

It is unclear what the demonstrators were protesting against, but sources tell us the residents want more snacks.

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Good Mental Health is No Joke

The Inquisitor Nashville aims to promote positive mental health through the

power of laughter. If you or someone you know is experiencing a mental health

emergency, please encourage them to call the Tennessee Statewide Crisis Line at 1-855-CRISIS-1 (1-855-274-7471).


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