Portland, OR - President Trump sent a specialized unit of federal agents to a Portland Zoo on Sunday to crush a riot at a popular exhibit.
"I'm not going to let these domestic terrorists destroy our great city zoos," Trump tweeted. "If zoo leaders won't stop these anarchists, I will. They're animals."
Trump went on to tweet, "LAW and ORDER," a dozen times over the next thirty minutes.
According to witnesses, the agents used tear gas to disperse the crowd and restore order. No one was injured but a zoo manager was also tear-gassed while joining the protesters.
It is unclear what the demonstrators were protesting against, but sources tell us the residents want more snacks.
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