Lockhart Basin, UT - Less than a week after biologists discovered a mysterious monolith in Utah's Red Rock desert, scientists were disappointed to learn on Thursday that the structure is just a fancy new Redbox.
"The team is devastated," said lead scientist Joe Lewis. "We were confident we'd discovered a portal to an alternate universe or proof of extraterrestrials. Turns out it's just a sleek new Redbox."
Lewis said it wasn't all a loss, though. One team member was able to return a DVD he'd forgotten in his glove box for weeks and another scientist scored a used copy of Frozen II for $3.99.
Redbox representatives substantiated the findings on Friday morning, saying they often use the desolate Utah desert as a test market for their new products and services.
Locals also confirm they have been using the shiny Redbox unit since 2016. They are concerned the newfound attention will cause longer waits at the desert box.
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